Introduction

Two years too late and too few beers at that, why the hell would I consider reviewing a game you’ve either already played and loved or have stayed far far away from because…

- You didn’t like Morrowind.
- You don’t like RPGs.
- You’re a ninny.

Whatever the case may be, I intend to have fun with this review. Fun how? Those that remember me from Project Wonderboy probably remember my Resident Evil 4 review. I warned that I was going to give the game a 9.5 (and the same is true here as well), but I was going to discuss in detail why it did not deserve anything higher. In other words, this is an excellent game that I could go on and on about (and most likely will later in the review), but what you really need to know is everything Oblivion nuts WON’T talk about.
(more…)

Tags: Project Wonderboy, Reviews // Add Comment »

My apologies for the lateness of this story, but trust me, it’ll be worth the wait. I’ve decided to make this a four-part series.

Where we last left off, I was busy surfing the net talking to hot babes. Actually, that’s a slight fabrication. None of the “babes” I was chatting up would be anywhere close to hot. In fact, I found myself in an unfortunate position of the girls I was interested in being too hot, and the girls who were interested in me being too ugly.
(more…)

Tags: Dating // 5 Comments »

C’mon.  You know you want to vote for him… (more…)

Tags: TCR Comix // 1 Comment »

-Hello everyone and welcome to the RAW Reflections!  Today, it’s an EXTRA-SPECIAL “3-Hour Roster Draft/Dialing For Dollars” Episode!  YES, combining two WWE Creative ideas I absolutely hate!  However, with the Draft, last year, RAW managed to get rid of some wrestlers I absolutely HATE (Tall Khali, Chris Masters, Big Daddy V) and get some wrestlers I REALLY like (Kennedy, King Booker, Londrick).  Also, whenever WWE does one of these tri-branded shows, they usually put on some badass matches.

(more…)

Tags: Raw Reflections // 5 Comments »

In some town in Massachusetts, a bunch of teenage girls entered what the news is calling a “Pregnancy Pact,” where they would all get themselves pregnant, going to ANY length to do so (one went as far as to have sex with a homeless guy), and then raise the children together.  Yeah, it’s as irresponsible as it sounds.  In light of this, the typical “BLAME INTANGIBLE PARTIES” crowd has come out and placed the blame squarely on popular films, “Knocked Up” and “Juno.”  Yeah, it definitely couldn’t be anything else.  It’s totally Judd Apatow’s Fault.

(more…)

Tags: TCR Comix // Add Comment »

Yesterday,  it became legal for Gay/Lesbian Couples to wed. This, of course, has pissed a lot of people off. For reasons ranging from moral to political, a majority of Americans just aren’t fans of same-sex marriage.

And a majority of Americans are wrong.

I am prepared to offer an in-depth, hard-hitting argument for why we should embrace this development. Jump past the cut to see my infallible logic!
(more…)

Tags: Comedy, Daily obscurity, News, Rants // 1 Comment »

You did it.  You assholes did it.

You broke Batman.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU HATH WROUGHT! 

(more…)

Tags: Comedy, Rants // 2 Comments »

-Another week, another edition of Vince McMahon’s Dialing For Dollars, PLUS Special Attraction: Pro Wrestling!  Why yes, boys and girls, it’s Monday Night, and we get to suffer through another edition of  2008’s WrestleCrap Gooker Award shoe-in, The Million Dollar Give-Away!  Ugh, let’s get this over with.

(more…)

Tags: Raw Reflections // 1 Comment »

Introduction

The original Condemned, in case you need a refresher, featured Ethan Thomas, an SCU agent (bullshit FBI division agent) who was framed, had hallucinations, got in plenty of bumfights, used various forensic tools to figure stuff out, and went around collecting various random objects. There were plenty of “OH SHIT” moments, lots of emphasis on melee combat (despite its various flaws), and while the forensics stuff was cool, admittedly there wasn’t enough of it.
(more…)

Tags: Project Wonderboy, Reviews // Add Comment »

Haiku is an ancient art of poetry, or something. Here are some beautiful pieces sensitively plucked from my fucking arsehole.

Bonzo fucked the pipe,
in front of his gran, oh yes,
she died of shock, no!

When i’m wanking, yeah,
I think of a rotten egg,
it makes me feel cheep.

Sling out the foetus,
an incinerator job,
I think you’ll find, mate

 Billy fucked the cow corpse,
and then smeared himself with pats,
shit and blood cock, yeah.

The funeral was,
ruined, when my anus raw,
I shat at berieved

The kids party, yeah?
was a blast when, drunk again,
dad wanked in cake

Tags: Comedy // Add Comment »